I'm going to start this off by saying NO I'm not pregnant and NO I didn't win the lottery. I've kept quite a few of you in suspense since posting my status on FB about 2 hours ago. This could get long so if you REALLY want to know, bear with me and read thoroughly.
About 22 months ago my sister found out that her boyfriend was in some serious trouble. It was found that he was involved in child pornography. It sickens me to this day and it will for the rest of my life because this person had been around my children. Absolutely horrific to me.
Anyway, my sister swore up and down she wouldn't be able to stay with a guy that did this and that it was going to come to an end. We stood behind her, we helped her out as much as we could, my parents went and got most of the deposits she had put down on things for their wedding back so that she wasn't out a bunch of money.
A few months later we find out that she is staying with him and that's her decision and it won't change. At this point she was told that she was more than welcome to come to family functions, but he would NOT be allowed anywhere near us or our children. My children come first and they always will. I realize that she's my sister (not by blood by the way, she's a step, but I don't believe in calling her that) and family is family, but when there's something THIS horrible on the table and you choose to stay with them its not a competition. My kids win hands down and their safety means more to me. April of 2010 was the last time I saw my sister. We used to hang out all the time, go to movies, supper, whatever together. It was fun, it was nice to have a sister to hang out with even though through all our teen years we hated each others guts pretty much.
Anyway, the last time I spoke to my sister was May of last year when I went to Michigan to visit my friend Rose and her family. She said she missed us and I told her that was understandable, but she had to realize why the decision that I made was made. She needed to understand I am NOT ok with her staying with a guy that's in trouble like he is.
Here we are....December 1st, 2011. This morning as I'm driving to the city to pay my bills that needed to be paid I get a text message. At first I didn't pay attention to it because it was a number I don't have in my phone. Finally when I got to a stopping point I was able to read it through. It was from my sister. 20 months later and she still has my phone number in her phone and she wants to talk. I couldn't believe it. I don't even have her number in my phone for the simple fact I didn't want anything to do with anyone. I will admit I was pissed. To choose a person who's in SO much trouble for something SO wrong over your family isn't right at all to me.
There's the saying "Forgive and forget". Well, in this case I will forgive her, but I will NEVER forget. This man will be spending MANY years in prison for what he has done. I realize that she's likely reaching out because he will be sent away in January, but I can't just ignore it.
She wants to sit down and talk, If I'm willing (which I am) and she misses me. I was almost in tears reading the message. Despite what I've said to anyone about her and her choices she's still my sister. We weren't CLOSE CLOSE, but close enough that my heart has been hurting for a while. We used to hang out and do things, I won't lie, I've missed that. Yes, there was drama here and there, but who doesn't have drama in their lives!?
Moving on. I have agreed to sit down and listen to what she has to say. I'm not going to continue to ignore her. I'm sure there are people that are out there thinking I'm crazy for agreeing to this, but she is my sister after all. It will take a long time before I can completely trust her or feel like I used to about our relationship, but I have to start somewhere. There is so much that she has missed of my life and my families lives in the last 20 months. Its heartbreaking.
I have come to the decision that I will sit down and listen to what she has to say. I won't be taking my husband or children with me to a first few "meetings" and I want to be sure its the right thing to do. I haven't set a day/time to sit down and meet with her as her schedule and mine are pretty hectic, but it will happen.
If you know me then you know how hard that this has been on me in the last 1 1/2 years. Its not only taking a toll on me, but my parents as well. My dad fought hard to have custody of my sister and my mom busted her butt to make sure the home life was great for not only her, but for me as well. My mom and dad are hurting from this and I'm sure they will for quite a while. My mom knows the decision I have made and although its probably hard for her, she does understand that its my decision and she supports it. My husband knows and he's supporting this as well. He has seen how hard this has been first hand. I love my family, I love my sister and I hope that we can be as close as we once were.
So there you have it. I'm sure you all were looking for something a little more happy like me being pregnant or having won the lottery, but sorry, those weren't the case here. Maybe someday those will be my next jaw droppers, but this is for now.
Thanks for reading! Have a great Thursday and an AWESOME weekend!
1 comment:
Yes, I do support your decision! There's a long way to go to heal because so much time has passed. She has missed out on parts of our lives that she will never be able to get back. We moved on without her and it has been painful, but she made the first move to you. Now we will see if she's willing to make a move to heal with the rest of the family.
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