Emotional Rollercoaster Week

The next 10 days of my life will be forever an emotional rollercoaster.  Remembering, savoring, wondering, being happy and celebrating are just a few of the emotions/words I can use to describe the feelings I will be feeling in the next while.

11 years ago this week we were standing at the hospital in my grandfathers room.  We were listening to the doctors tell him and my family that he needed a new heart. Without a new heart my grandfather's health would decline fairly quickly.  The likely hood of him surviving without a heart was minimal.  He could be put on an LVAD (left ventricular assistive device), but those have their side effects (such as bleeding, shutting down etc) and generally aren't good for long term use. 
This was 9 days prior to me walking up on a stage and receiving my diploma stating that I graduated from Mid-Prairie High School the class of 2001.  Little did I realize I would be dealing with something so hard.  My grandfather is my world.  Without him in our lives who knows where we'd be. He has always been supportive of everyone, has always been there and has always been caring.

May 27th, 2001 I got up and got ready to go to that graduation.  Knowing that while I'm sitting there listening to speeches and waiting to walk up on that stage to receive my diploma and having my grandfather at a hospital basically dying while waiting for someone to die was absolutely heart breaking.  Not having someone who's always been a BIG part of my life to celebrate a day that's supposed to be one of the most happiest days of my life was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.  Guess what though.  I did it.
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My name was called, I walked up onto that stage, shook the hands of many people, took that diploma with pride, put a smile on my face, handed my mom her rose, hugged my parents and grandma and walked back to my seat.  I still hear to this day "You barely smiled Amber, its supposed to be the most happiest day of your life (well one of them)."  Its always been hard to explain to people what myself and my family went through that time of year.  Its hard to explain how your heart is breaking into millions of pieces on the inside while you are smiling on the outside.  Not knowing if while you are celebrating something like this your loved one is dying in the hospital and you're praying for someone else to pass on so he can have their heart.  I never wish on anyone to lose a loved one for another loved one to receive an organ.  It just doesn't seem feasible, but until you've been through it like my family and I have, its hard to explain.

After celebrating my High School graduation we cleaned up the food/cake/decorations and things and headed up to the hospital to spend time with my grandfather and my Uncle.  My Uncle was also in the hospital awaiting a heart transplant.  He also suffered from what my grandfather suffered from.  My Uncle was much worse as he was already on an LVAD.  Sadly my Uncle lost his life while waiting for a heart in October of 2001.  Anyway, we took my cards and the video my Uncle had shot of me walking up and all that.  After opening the cards, watching the video and having some good laughs we had supper and shared some cake with my grandpa and Uncle.  It was a very hard day.  I still got to spend it with the ones I loved, that's what mattered the most.

Fast forward to 2012.

Here we are, 9 days away from a high school graduation.  This graduation is different from the rest.  How you ask?  Well, on May 27th 2012 my little brother Travis will be graduating!  Hard to believe, but its the honest truth.  My baby brother will walk up on the same stage I did exactly 11 years ago to the day and receive his diploma stating that he is officially a graduate from Mid-Prairie High School. 

To this day I remember my mom saying to me when I had our oldest daughter Hannah "Just think, Hannah will be just finishing up Kindergarten when Travis graduates High School."  I of course replied with a chuckle "Don't push it mom, I don't even want to think about that yet."  Yet, here we are.  6 years after Hannah is born.  He's graduating and Hannah Linn will be out of Kindergarten a few days after.  Hannah will finish Kindergarten on May 29th, 2012.  After that date (its the last day of school) I will (we will) officially have a 1st grader, a Kindergartner AND a Preschooler!  Our babies are growing up!

With all this said, I'd like to Congratulate ALL of the 2012 Seniors!!  My brother will be attending Iowa State University in the Fall studying Music.  He wants to become a Music Teacher and I know he will be an awesome one.  Music is his passion and he's an awesome  musician!

A little side note.  Next week is not only emotional because of what we've been through in the past 11 years, but on Friday May 25th, 2012 Katelinn Mae will graduate from Preschool.  On Sunday May 27th Travis will graduate High School and on Tuesday May 29th Hannah will graduate Kindergarten.  That is A LOT of "graduating" happening in 4 days time!

Have a WONDERFUL weekend everyone!