Perspecitve

Last week a lot of things in my life were thrown into perspective.  Its not to be taken as over dramatic, but take it as you will.

Last Monday morning around 4 a.m. I awoke with SEVERE belly pain.  I couldn't stop having the pain, vomiting, chills, you name it and I had it.  About 8:15 a.m. I asked Paul to take me into the emergency room as I was sure I was dying. I'd NEVER been so sick in my entire life.  I've had pain, I've had vomiting, I've had chills, but all this at once and constant togetherness was NOT cool at all. 
We arrived at the ER about 9 a.m.  By 9:30 a.m. I was in a room, hooked up to IV fluids and given medicines for the vomiting and the pain.  From the time I was in the ER to the time they admitted me upstairs at 4 p.m. I had several tests done.  All tests came back ok except for a minor bladder infection.  To be so sick and not know what's causing it is scary all on its own. 
I was admitted to the hospital by my primary care doctor.  Monday obviously was 99% gone by the time I was moved upstairs.  Tuesday morning my regular doc came in and said she wanted to have an endoscopy done.  I had NO problem with this for two reasons.  Reason number one being the fact I was still having SO much pain and nausea (no vomiting thanks to meds) that I wanted to see what it would show and reason number two being the fact that I've never had one done to begin with. 
My mom came over around Noon that day as they were taking me downstairs to have the endoscopy done.  I would have to say the worst part of the whole process is the crap they spray in the back of your throat to numb it for the tube.  Once the throat was numb and the sedative was given I don't remember a darn thing.  The biopsy the doctor took (who was awesome by the way) showed I had esophagitis.  I figured I had this, but to know 100% is helpful so I can stay away from certain foods and be sure to take the proper medications for it.  However, it didn't show anything that explained why I was in so much pain and so ill.
I was in the hospital from Monday at 9:30 a.m. until Thursday morning around 10 a.m.  There is still no known cause to what made me so sick, but after 4 days in the hospital, lots of pain control, lots of meds and tests I was ready to come home and be with my family.  To be away from your kids for 4 days and not knowing what is wrong with you is absolutely frightening.  I knew they were in good hands, but you always fear the worst news while YOU are in there.

Here's what upsets me.  I realize that people work, have things to attend to.  HOWEVER what REALLY hurts me is the fact that there are quite a few people I have bent over backwards for.  I helped them in times they needed help, I was there when they needed a shoulder to cry on and whatever else the cases may be.  Do you think I even got a caring text/message/visit from these people!?  HELL NO.  I didn't hear a single word. 

Therefore, the perspectives that I received while looking back on all this is, I will no longer be helping out people.  I'm not going to sit here and listen to your stupid sob stories.  I'm not going to help anyone out money wise, ride wise, food wise, NOTHING.  You can call me whatever name in the book you want to call me, but quite honestly I really don't care.  I've been a caring person all my life.  I take it to heart when I see someone I call a friend in a time of need. I will help people out, but when you stomp on me, stab me in the back and then don't give a flying rats butt about a person when they need you the most well, you've lost my help, my friendship and anything else I have/would have had to offer you.

I do want to thank my parents for being there for me and the kids while I was ill.  Mom and Dad, THANK YOU!  Ervin, Nina and Travis, I know you were all thinking of me, I appreciate the thoughts and prayers and the pretty flowers as well.  THANK YOU.
A special thanks to my grandparents.  If it weren't for my grandparents I don't know where I would be today.  They've helped me out all my life and have always been there for me.  THANK YOU GRANDMA AND GRANDPA.
Another thank you to my friends Kim, Tiffany, Charity, Josh, Lisa and Bob.  I appreciate the messages, the phone calls and the heart felt words you all gave me while I was in the hospital.  I missed you all a great deal and I truly don't know what I'd do without you guys.  You've all been VERY good friends.

My prayers go out to those of you who are so caught up in your nonsense bullshit that you can't take 2 minutes to open your eyes and realize WHO your true friends are.  After last week, I DEFINITELY know who mine are and I've taken the opportunity to change my circle of friends.

Peace out people and thank you all for your prayers and positive thoughts!